I often wonder if I am blessed to be here…. on this earth.  I have asked myself the question “why are we here”  many times, I struggle to find an answer which in itself is futile as there is not a definitive answer.   Since having my children part of this question is answered,  I know why I … as a Mum, carer, confident is here, but for me as a whole person, the girl, teenager, young woman ( ok, who am I trying to kid, a woman in her middle ages)  I am a shell of a person I once knew and fear like so many others, if not all, that I am now defined by my children.

Having children changes you that’s a fact,  having a child with autism changes you beyond recognition.  All you thought  you knew is irrelevant, trying to see the world as she does is one of the biggest challenges I have faced, trying to maintain a level, happy, calm environment for my beautiful  girl is a daily struggle…. and she is so beautiful, sometimes I swear I can see a light surrounding her.  This blog is an insight into that life.

Darling  Fleur, we live on the outside looking in,  and we do so wish we could join you.